it all started with a meme…
There’s this meme going around the internet, “We get 18 delicious summers with our children. This is one of your 18. If that’s not perspective, I don’t know what is.”. My initial reaction to this quote was warm fuzzies, because of course I love, love, love my kiddos and I want to thoroughly enjoy each and every moment with them. After the third or fourth time I passed it while scrolling, I started to feel a bit of shame and sadness. Sometimes motherhood sucks. Should I be finding a way to pep talk myself into loving each and every moment?
Am I failing as a mother because there are times that I really, really don’t enjoy parenting?
Preparing meals that if nutritionally sound, are not likely to be eaten without argument.
Teaching tiny humans how to navigate their emotions, and how to express said emotions so that they may learn to live in relation to other humans.
Cleaning up after the cat 5 hurricane that is childhood, as it levels the house day after day.
Rinse and repeat.
Sometimes motherhood sucks.
But my kids, my kids… I’m their number one fan.
My kids taught me what the fuck love even is.
No, I’m not always in love with motherhood…
But yes, parenting is magical and beautiful and I am so lucky to have these lil humans in my life.
The years are so short and fly by so fast…
This is all so very true.
But also true is the fact that some days my kids can be total a-holes, and all I really want is some quiet moments without their adorable dirt covered faces, or their sweet lil screechy voices.
There are days where it’s totally easy to love every little thing about this whole parenting gig, then there are days where, well…
Raising a human from tiny helpless potato through adolescence is a monumental task…
And it’s totally fucking o.k. if sometimes I’m tired, or frustrated, or heaven forbid I have a day where I really hate being a mom!
Yes, the days are long but the years are short and I am going to miss it all so very much when it’s gone.
But really guys, it’s 18 fucking years at least.
There’s plenty of time for me to love the shit outta my kids and be grateful that I get to share this life with them, AND to honor my own experience of motherhood.
Sometimes honoring that experience means being real with myself about the times that I am actually not really having a super duper time.
And sometimes honoring that experience means being real with myself about the need to take a break, to fill my cup, to engage in some serious acts of self-care.
Sometimes I let a well intentioned meme shame me into believing that I am not good enough.
Isn’t that what Pinterest is for?
And sometimes I need to write a blog post to talk myself through it.